Justicia, Azi Dahaka, Cthulhu, Bastet, Loki, Khorne, Ares, Tiamat! That is you! You are a god(deess)!... in the cannon/official/corebook timeline of Existence anyway. However, here you are the Animal-Variant version of the God(dess), originated in a displaced/erased/even-more-gonzo variant timeline, so it is hard to get the message across. You were hidden from cosmic forces that seek you demise (mostly those jerks from Balance) because they said you are an offense to Existence. Balderdash! Now it is the time to reveal to the world of your Coming and of your goal of GLORIOUS PURPOSE (or something of equal grandeur!). No more time hiding as some lowly farm animal for a fool that got himself killed in a Funnel.
This is a (obviously) gonzo class for DCC RPG and a homage to the amazing Loki series from the MCU. Not playtested, as usual, but hopefully playable.
The Class
Hit Dice: d6. You do not actually die when your reach 0 hit points, but a Watcher appears and takes you away in that moment of weakness. You cannot roll the Body. If you reach 0 hit points, They get you.
Attack: +1 per level.
Saves: as a Halfling.
Action Die: as a Halfling.
Animal Mien: Besides one weird aspect of your choice (colour, a crown, horns etc.) you look like a normal small animal (a chicken, cat, dog, a big rat, a small crocodile etc.). You have all the natural traits of the chosen animal. You cannot use any weapon or armor.
You cannot speak humanoid tongues, but for strange reasons one guy in the party can talk with you. If he/she dies, you must mimic to communicate or think on something else. It takes a month after that fool’s death to teach “High Speech” to a second fool. You can talk with other animals of your species but you find it demeaning.
Small, Fast, and Sneaky: you add your level to hide, sneak, initiative, and any checks to avoid or escape a grapple. Your natural AC is 13 plus your level due to your speed and size. You can move through opponents in melee of human size or bigger and even disengage from melee without any harm. If some one attack you with a range attack you can burn 1 Luck to roll a Luck check, if you succeed the range attack is rerolled against a random target within 5 feet of you (or the biggest one, Judge’s call). You are so small that when you are hit, you can choose to be knockdown and throwed away, if you do you take half damage from the attack but lose one Action Die for your next turn (which might leave you without actions).
Nasty Bite: it doesn’t matter your animal form, you have one nasty natural attack, usually a bite. It deals 1d4 plus your level in damage and the Critical Range is 20, increasing by one for every level thereafter (for example, 19-20 at 2nd level). You roll your critical hits in the Dragon Table, following the dice progression of the Wizard class (if you ever roll a 14 or anything related with breath weapon, consider that your “breath weapon” is 1d6 per level).
Cosmic Knowledge: you know a lot of stuff that an animal should not be aware off. Any Intelligence check related to arcane, divine, and cosmological stuff is always trained for your (i.e. roll a d20).
Divine Aid Yourself: the advantages of being a (animal variant) god is that you can get your own miracles, thank you! Roll Divine Aid as a Cleric of the same level. Every time you fail, the chance of Divine Disapproval range increases as normal for a Cleric. However, here a Divine Disapproval is not an angry god (you are the angry god after all), but actually it means that Existence has noticed your offensive state if being and sends something to take care of you. Within the next 24 hours the Judge should use a monster or roll a critter – a Cosmic Hunter – sent by Balance to get you. This creature has a number of HD equal to your Disapproval total and it can track you to your location with a precision of 30 feet (i.e. it can find where you are, but no exactly the position).
Godly Domain: choose
a godly domain below.
War: you can burn 1 Luck to gain one d6 Mighty Deed of Dice (as a Warrior) for 1 turn. Whenever you roll a Strength check to break, lift or do a Strength feat, add +1 Die Step bonus.
Trickery: you can burn 1 Luck to create an illusion of a small trinket or animal within 30 feet of you (if no one is looking at the location at the moment). The illusion can move, make sounds and act normally, but it is just an illusion. You can also use d3 Luck to create one small object (nothing bigger than a dagger) that is real for 1d4 minutes. The Judge might allow bigger objects but these will require d3 Luck and d6! Stamina (the dice explodes and might kill you) and maybe even a d20 check, using your level.
Law: you can either Lay on Hands or Turn Undead. This increases your Divine Disapproval normally.
Chaos: you can Spellburn to roll a Invoke Patron spell! (Any Patron that you know, you start the game knowing one Patron and must Quest for the Impossible for more, you can only cast Invoke Patron, no spells or Patron Bond; a Judge should give a bonus for style if an Animal Variant of, for example, Azi Dahaka, tries to Invoke the True Azi Dahaka!)
Minions: your obvious
godly presence attracts (un)worthy minions. These are 0-level hirelings with
fanatic morale. One per level! (You must Quest for the Impossible for more and
in fact a cool quest might give you a cleric that follows you!). If a Minion
dies, you usually get a replacement between adventures. They will carry you,
feed you, and carry your stuff. In combat, they are your meat shield (Magnanimous
judges might allow you to burn 1 Luck to redirect an attack from you to an
adjacent Minion). Be careful, if you ever roll a Fumble within sight of your
Minions, the Judge might ask for Luck roll to verify if any of your fanatics “changes”
heart and betray you.
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